Jan. 15, 2009
I have completed the 36" clay “Courage”

She is all that I dreamed of and more. It was a struggle, it was painful both emotionally and physically, and it was a celebration of the lives of Muzzy and Connie.

When I finished, I took a long walk on the beach in the sun and the warmth and the solitude. The only sounds were those of the gently rolling surf and the seagulls.

When I retuned to the house, I sat on the deck, looked out over the sand and water, smoked a cigar I have been saving for this moment, drank a scotch from a crystal glass and said a prayer of thanks to Muzzy and Connie.

Thanks for the honor of knowing them and their gentle hands guiding mine. Thanks for their lives that have touched and enriched others. Thanks for the opportunity to help their spirit and courage live on and help others.

We all thank you both for “Courage”.

---

July 29, 2008
Grabbing the first flight out of Portland , Oregon this morning I just arrived at the Chicago airport around noon . I am on my way to be at the bedside of my younger sister, Connie Sue, who is in a hospital in Akron Ohio , dying of Cancer. While running to my next connection to Cleveland , I turn on my cell phone and it chimes with a voice message to be picked up. Dreading the message, I see it is from my older sister Beverly, who is already at the hospital along with Connie's husband John, and our dad. I stop at the nearest empty gate waiting area and sit down to hear the message, knowing in my heart that I did not make it in time to be with Connie one last time that she is already gone.

August 6
I had the strangest dream last night. This is what I hauntingly remember…

I am on a scaffold built around a piece of white marble 15' tall, and I am carving a figure titled “Courage” – she has a bald head wrapped in cloth, piercing eyes, a firm jaw, taunt body and feet apart yet firmly planted. I can only sense the figure; all I can really see is the head.

Sept 25
Still the dream every night, I can delay no longer. I need a restful sleep. Today I have begun “Courage”.

Sept 26
I have started to shape the head and face, but my first act is to place a heart in the chest of “Courage”. This is something I have done since my very first sculpture back in 2003. I read an article about a woman sculptor who always started this way, placing a heart shape in the chest of each of her sculptures. She said it brought the piece to life; it gave the sculpture not only a heart, but a soul as well. So I use it as well, and it has worked.

Nov 3
Tonight I have reworked the eyes yet again, adding more detail in the eyelids and eyebrows and more padding in the eye socket above the eyes. Also added a bit more volume to the cheeks below the cheekbone filled out her face and made it less stark, a bit softer more feminine. She is starting to look more like I think she needs to.

Nov. 14
Today I took my sister Beverly to the airport to go back home to Dallas . While she was here, I sprayed expandable foam on “Courage”. This is done to add volume to the piece without the weight of clay. Tomorrow night I will start carving and roughing up the foam so I can start adding clay over it. She looks like she has on white bib overalls.

Dec. 3
Today I want to start working on the drapery so I had Nancy pose with some different types of cloth and wrapped around in different combinations. The cloth that worked the best happened to be a long shawl. After about an hour, we got a wrap that looked quite good, and elegant. I took some photos of all sides then through the magic of Photoshop I cloned the drapery onto a photo of the clay “Courage”. The next few hours were spent drawing and redrawing the drapery until I got what I wanted. A very simple drape, not too fussy, I don't want to see the drape first before the figure. So I simplified the folds, and made them hug close to the body. That is my sculpture style, the clothes meld into the figure, accentuating the muscles and form, and flowing with the figure, an impression of the cloth.

Dec. 12
Nancy went into Portland for a class yesterday and today so I have uninterrupted hours to work on “Courage”, the problem today is that the winter storm that hit us last night, took out a large tree behind the house which took out two power poles. No power today starting at 11am . I brought “Courage” into the front room which is all windows, western exposure to give me natural light. As the day gets on, the light fails quickly, so I get out the battery powered lanterns we use this time of year when the wind and rain blows from the north. We have sustained winds of 45mph and gusts of 70mph, and rain blowing in sideways. Forecast is for colder weather, high winds and snow on the beach on Sunday. Nancy will come home tonight over the mountains before the weather turns into a blizzard and she can't get across.

The drape is going quite quickly, as is the figure itself. I am not having the same problems I had with the head and face. The figure seems to be just coming from my hands and I am not spending a lot of time thinking about what I am doing. I am filling out the bulk in the rest of the figure in clay, and then I sit back and start to mold and sculpt the muscles. A curve added here and there to make the eye flow easier, move a muscle a bit to add to the tension and relax a muscle on the other side to calm the flow and give the eye a chance to rest before moving on to the next area of tension.

Jan 2-6, 200
A new year begins and “Courage” is kicking my butt right now. I have been working and re-working the drape on this piece for days. The drape is right, and the figure looks good, but the sculpture does not have the look and feel of my work. It is too smooth and there isn't a lot of movement to the piece. It is too static even though she is not passive nor does she lack power and presence, but she lacks the sweeping style and roughness of my other sculptures. I think at this point I need to take charge and make “Courage” the way I want her to be. I have allowed her too much say in the final stages; I need her to become one of my “ladies”.

Jan. 10-13
I am adding the paintbrush impressionistic texture to the drape. Swish by swish, stroke by stroke, around and around the drape and body. “Courage” is now looking like mine. The rough texture of the cloth against the smoothness of the skin, the movement and energy as it swirls around her and gives her life and soul.